Since having my second c-section 18 months ago, I've often found myself searching the local independant midwives, sussing out the prices and how supportive they seem of HBA2C. My searching seems to come and go in phases and obviously is linked directly to how I'm feeling at the time about my obstetric past and my HBAC desires. It peaked after my nephew was born 3 months ago then settled down again. It's starting to re-emerge as hubby and I discuss our third bubba with more seriousness. The plan was to start trying in August next year after my sister's wedding but I'm starting to think I want to try before then. I finally feel ready for another baby, not just another go at birth. I still want to wait a little bit. I plan to have my first decent New Years Eve in four years, haha. So January at the earliest (and for anyone reading this that actually knows me, please don't share that info!).
Anyways, back to the point. Over the past 18 months I've probably sent 10 or so emails to various midwives or midwifery practices. Not one, not a single freakin one, emailed me back. Not 18 months ago when I was asking for someone to give me just a little bit of hope that one day I might bounce back and not three months ago when I started giving some very serious thought to HBAC. I know I could've called, but I just find emailing easier. I don't often get enough time to myself at an appropriate time (aka, NOT 1am), and I just find it easier to have everything in writing so I can refer back to it. So, yeah, no-one returned my emails.
Until yesterday. A LOVELY woman who I did end up talking to on the phone. She told me that her practice doesn't actually do homebirths but gave me the name of another midwife to contact. She didn't even have anything to gain from getting back to me. I wasn't going to be hiring her because she couldn't offer what I wanted, but she took the time to email to ask for my number, then call. Then call back when I couldn't talk the first time. Then call back when she had to leave a voicemail the second time and I hadn't yet returned her call. All just to help me.
So, I emailed the midwife she recommended and had a return email within about an hour: "happy to support HBA2C". I can't explain how I felt when I read that. With all the politics around homebirth at the minute, I was just expecting to hit brick wall after brick wall, and to add to that, I'd started to think no-one even cared enough to email back. So the journey starts. I sent in today to get my medical records from the hospital where I had my 2 c-sections. Once they get here I will make an appointment to go through them with the midwife and see what we can change this time. I'm so glad that she is working with me *before* even trying to conceive again. It just makes sense and I guess it kinda shows me that she is as eager for me to succeed as I am.
I am just so excited that I am starting to do something pro-active and so scared about how it's all going to work out. I've got a long way to go, but you canbe damn sure I'm going to get there!
Friday, October 21, 2011
Monday, October 17, 2011
Something has changed within me
Another song has been playing over and over on my iPhone. Another Glee song at that! Haha. And every time I hear it, the lyrics sum up a lot of what I feel about my births (past and future) just like Rolling in the Deep. I guess it's fair to say that it's pretty self-explanatory why the lyrics have the effect they do. Maybe I'm developing my birth play-list without even realising it!!
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